@VestaTot: Help 9-1-1! I just found my husband! He's been drugged in his coffee and then stabbed with a pen knife but that didn't work and then shot!
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@ChipKellysBalls: Next time you decide to complain about your problems, just remember, some guy out there has Snooki as his mom ...
@BuckyIsotope: POLICE: knock knock DRUG DEALER: who's there P: weed DD: weed who P: we'd like to come in and arrest you DD: lol good one, come on in
@astutenewf: My moral compass must run on solar power because it definitely goes to sleep after dark.