@VestaTot: Help 9-1-1! I just found my husband! He's been drugged in his coffee and then stabbed with a pen knife but that didn't work and then shot!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KentWGraham: Given the American diet, don’t you think we’d have greater success locating missing children if we put their faces on liters of soda?
@shegotagronk: I wished I loved anything as much as white people love saying "gracias" at Mexican restaurants.
@beefman138: Steve : I'm going to call it the Steveharmonic orchestra. *Phil creeps up from behind with baseball bat*