@grayson_coble: Help a bro out
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@lwhit_the_boss: A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face.
@mattingebretson: Whenever I see someone with a non-reusable water bottle I get a gun and shoot a nearby animal and say "you did that"