@grayson_coble: Help a bro out
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@LurkAtHomeMom: 1st Kid: spends 6 weeks sewing perfect costume 2nd Kid: *cuts holes in an old NKOTB beach towel* just say you're an 80's ghost or some shit
@skittle624: It’s so unfair how the houses on HGTV get remodeled in 30-60 minutes, but my house is taking 2-3 months.
@Playing_Dad: Daughter: Daddy, why is the moon following us around? Me: I probably owe it money like everyone else on the planet