@Fred_Delicious: help im covered in chameleons & no one believes me
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@ElleOhHell: Many English names are derived from occupations, like Fletcher (arrow maker), Cooper (barrel maker), or Cunningham (tricky pig).
@DurtMcHurtt: *attaches canes horizontally to dozens of old man walkers *watches slowest jousting match ever
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: You forgot my birthday again didn't you? ME: [putting wrapping paper round the cat] Goddammit, I told you not to turn round yet Janet
@AndyAsAdjective: *stands in front yard, hands on hips, giving each autumn leaf that falls on my lawn a stern, disapproving look*