@VodkaTiem: Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I'm sobering up.
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@TheDeadfishSays: I sit in the corner eating my tortillas completely confused by this salsa class.
@1followernodad: guys: women are a mystery. women: Here is what we- guys: LITERALLY WHAT DO THEY WANT? women: well for start- guys: Guess we'll never know!
@alexjmann: I'm going to need to see a warrant before you look through any pictures on my phone besides the one I show you.
@pauleggleston: Me: *returns from bakery with a bap, bagel, bun & cob* Wife: What are these? Me: The synonym rolls you asked for. Wife: CINNAMON.