@kelkulus: Help your friends diet by replacing the light in their fridge with an air horn.
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@jwoodham: I can't make it tonight. There's a couple fighting at Target and the guy just started sarcastically clapping. I need to see where this goes.
@DilemmaEmmaEmma: Once when I had a broken toe, my mom told me to walk it off. When Princess Di died, she sobbed for a day.
@withanewname: "Welcome to D.A.D.D.D.S. Dads Against Dads Doing Dumb Shit. Repeat after me." [whole room] "AFTER ME" "Ok fellas, lets start here"