@kelkulus: Help your friends diet by replacing the light in their fridge with an air horn.
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@SuperTeeWhy: Ouija board just told me it's still waiting on a grandbaby and I was like lol Mom when did you die
@tbhjuststop: using microsoft word *moves an image 1 mm to the left* all text and images shift. 4 new pages appear. in the distance, sirens.
@StansaidAirport: If you removed every blade from a 747's engines and laid them end to end, you'd go to prison for rendering useless a $357 million aircraft.
@KyleMcDowell86: [Sees girl watching Star Wars] "Oh I love that movie, the way" *starts to sweat* "All those stars are at war with each other"