@GrantTanaka: Helped my son flush his betta fish today. He asked "Dad, does God love bettas?" & I said "Dunno, son, ask him after we flush you."
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@T_N_Crumpets: Me: [bursts into wife's meeting] BABE, IT HAPPENED! Wife: Dave, I'm at wo- Me: I paid for 6 [empties chicken nuggets on table] I got 7
@Darlainky: My single friends are always talking about clubbing and being hit on. Today's social scene sounds so violent.
@dwaghalter: "What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?" - my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome