@TheMichaelRock: Helping my 5yo with his homework. Does anyone remember how to write the alphabet? Like with a pencil?
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Notice how women didn't complain when they did an all-male version of Sex & The City called Entourage.
@mexinonblonde: "Quit mowing your lawn you heathen and go to church!" -Me as I put in earplugs and go back to bed on a Sunday morning.
@internetluke: [talking to bouncer] Me:let me in Bouncer: not after last time Me:would a Washington convince you? Bouncer: no George Washington: c'mon man