@TheMichaelRock: Helping my 5yo with his homework. Does anyone remember how to write the alphabet? Like with a pencil?
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@VanVeenB: Tried pushing her against the wall to kiss her like all you guys suggested. Put her head right through the drywall. Goddam cheap motels.
@fizzlestothetop: Well, seeing as Jesus only had 12 followers, I'd say I'm doing pretty well for myself.
@LMLMadness: Show her how romantic you are by sprinkling body parts in a trail leading to the bed.
@torrami: Alcohol is the leading cause of me getting yelled at for being a pterodactyl on the coffee table.