@TheMichaelRock: Helping my 5yo with his homework. Does anyone remember how to write the alphabet? Like with a pencil?
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@pleatedjeans: A long time ago a wine expert said 'it has an okay flavor' but the guy heard 'oaky flavor' & now people want their wine to taste like trees
@Twits_Giggles: It's amazing how patiently people will wait in line behind you when you're buying tampons.
@Coastiefish: I don't know the lyrics to any of Pitbull's songs, but in my defense, I'm not really convinced he does either.