@EFFFFFFYOU: Helping my kid memorize a list of cities and accidentally wrote a Pitbull song.
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@iLikeCatShirts: Star Wars is just like regular wars except you fall in love with your sister and your dad chops your arm off.
@WesTheFatKid: Pro tip: "Hold my drink" is not a proper response to "License and registration, please." ...... apparently.
@WesTheFatKid: "Because Im a goddamned rock star!" wasn't the answer my boss was looking for as to why I was late to work, lesson learned.