@noogscorner: Hendrix didn't need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@QwertyJones3: [Playing piano to impress a Russian girl] "Do you like it?" Her: That's sheet music "Yes, it is." Her: Now excuse me, I huv to take a sheet.
@AaronFullerton: Excited for the return of Game of Thrones. Not excited for the return of the phrase, "If you'd read the books, you'd know that..."
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: Our daughter lied to me. Me: What did I tell you about telling the truth? 5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.
@_little_old_me: I bought a pregnancy test so the cashier who always serves me when I'm by myself in my pjs, buying ice-cream & chips, thinks I have sex.