@ShalyahEvans: Henry VIII would be glad to know that in a post-Game Of Thrones world he actually seems pretty chill
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@LoveMeNowDad: A microwave with three only buttons. 1. Hot Pocket 2. Pizza Rolls 3. 4 Hot Pockets and 60 Pizza Rolls
@Stellacopter: When I'm out with my kids and I see an x-boyfriend I like to scare him by saying "Don't make eye contact with daddy."
@TheDiLLon1: Cheap 1st Date Ideas: Get some matching Red Polo shirts & hang out in a Target. Give terrible info to inquisitive costumers.
@KoKeniSasquatch: Thanks to this face I've been forced to work on my personality and wit for decades.