Her: About last night, please understand that wasn't me… that was the wine. Me: … Her: … Me: Do you have a phone number for that wine?

@Southernwit_1: I’m beginning to think that a woman calling another woman hun or sweetie is not a term of endearment.

1

@TheHyyyype: *aliens come to earth to steal our water* [cut to] *aliens running out of store with like fifteen evian bottles they didn't pay for*

1

@PorkUrPine: God: Hmm now where did I leave that fish? It couldn't possibly have grown legs and walked away Darwin: lol ur not gonna believe this

1

@StaunchA: Taliband

5

@MsMosman: Blocked a someone with "Social Media Specialist | Online Reputation Manager" in their bio just to mess with their head. And it's douchy.

1

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