@snatch_stache: Drugs don't ruin people's lives, drug tests do.

@HomeProbably: Dogs can't talk and everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

@click4amanda: Officer: "Do you know why I'm standing here?" Me: "You got all C's in High School?"

@jane__bradley: This is the first meme I've ever shared but it's a day of firsts so...

@juliussharpe: Women, don't tell us about your boyfriend. He's a guy. We know what he's like.