@david8hughes: Her ankles were strong & sturdy, keeping her feet attached to her legs at all times. She had the eyebrows of a livid mechanic.
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@ch000ch: i listed my ex as my emergency contact at my new job bc if i have a heart attack i need to tell kathy to burn in hell one last time
@JoePetroske: Interview Tip: When you get the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" question, don't say "post-apocalyptic tribal warlord".
@alispagnola: I asked my friend what keeps her up at night. She answered, "helium." Also, my friend is a balloon.