@david8hughes: Her ankles were strong & sturdy, keeping her feet attached to her legs at all times. She had the eyebrows of a livid mechanic.
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@timdonakowski: Just bought a set of alphabet magnets for my fridge, so this may very well be my last tweet.
@charliedelta7: I like taking my cats out for a drive to show them roadkill so they know what will happen if they ever leave me.
@moose_chocolate: Some might say I peed my pants. I like to say I voided my bladder into my trousers like the classy refined gentleman that I am. #bt140
@Celestinelea90: My heart says cheese dip but my jeans say for the love of god woman eat some celery.