@david8hughes: Her ankles were strong & sturdy, keeping her feet attached to her legs at all times. She had the eyebrows of a livid mechanic.
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@Be___Dope: [on the phone] Me: *whispers* I think my CW knows I'm high. CW: You know you're talking to a banana right?
@daemonic3: FRIEND: Where were you? ME: I got sick and had to rush to the doctor FRIEND: Flu? ME: Nah, just drove really fast
@captainkalvis: ANCHOR: we now go live to our new field meteorologist who will issue a storm warning ME: *pointing at the sky* DON'T. YOU. DARE.