@goodhairperson: Her hands were garlic breadsticks of action. Her face was a Cesar salad of expression.
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@audipenny: A snake is what happens when a string goes "what if I was alive and had a weird mad looking head"
@eminmien: We lay under the maple tree, the evening sun casting a warm glow on our faces. Turning to me, she said- "Please stop narrating everything."
@Social_Mime: Me - That's the second First Baptist Church I've seen today. Wife - OK? M - One of them is lying. W - You can't ever shut it off can you?
@Dutch_50: I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up.