@goodhairperson: Her hands were garlic breadsticks of action. Her face was a Cesar salad of expression.
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@SocialExtortion: It's been the "longest week ever" for Janet on facebook, a woman that I know for a fact works 40 hours has been on facebook for 37 of them
@SuperJuanderer: If a spider attacks you, you should play dead. No, wait... that's for a bear. If a spider attacks a bear, you should play dead.
@osigat: <- I've been drinking for almost 6 hours. If you see something wash up on shore that looks like this, please identify me.