@goodhairperson: Her hands were garlic breadsticks of action. Her face was a Cesar salad of expression.
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@torrami: Me: I can't live like this anymore, I need to start eating healthier. Also Me: I couldn't decide between nuggets or a burger so I got both.
@Vice_Queen: [Me flirting with a twenty something] Him: When last did you get lit? Me: This morning. It was really sunny so I was well illuminated.
@girl_a_whirl: Batman: Life isn't a video game. Your actions have consequences *Robin writes 'I'm sorry I forgot to buy Charmin®' 100 times on Batpaper*