Her: "How is it possible for anyone to be an idiot all the freakin time!" Me: "I know, I'm completely exhausted."

@stephaniehas: No autocorrect, I do not want to organism all over his face.

71

@DarkerWillow: I think it's only called hoarding when you're poor.

1

@CherBear162: I really want a Popsicle but I'm so not in the mood for Freezer Jenga.

53

@sofarrsogud: ME: [Consoling my friend, whose dog has been missing for 3 weeks] It’s ok, I’m taking good care of her. HIM: What? ME: What?

1

@RdrJay47: There is a mile long line of cars stopped ahead, but go ahead and honk at the guy in front of you. It might help.

163

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