@slimmy_shady: Her: "How is it possible for anyone to be an idiot all the freakin time!" Me: "I know, I'm completely exhausted."
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@Snarfernini: Quick! What's protocol for when he opens my car door for me and just shy of 7,000 Sonic straw wrappers fall out?
@Carbosly: I hope zombies will come from Mexico. After eating their way through fat Americans, they'll be like "Sorry little Canadians. We're full."
@EndhooS: Lifeguard: SHARK! GET OUT OF THE WATER Me: [Remembers 150 people are killed by falling coconuts every year & only 5 from shark attacks] ..No