@Roxtalled: Her: Make me a burrito, please.
*wraps her in blanket
*pours hot sauce inside
@jakob_huber: Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
@TheAlexNevil: Parents: don't give your child the answers to his homework. He needs to learn on his own that you don't know what you're talking about.
@sarahyehia82: I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
@tchrquotes: When she said "I think we got way too much pizza." I knew I Finally had my chance to shine, to be the hero.
@tastefactory: COP:Do u know how fast u were going
ME: The posted speed limit, 495
COP: Sir that's the route number, i don't even know how I caught up to u