@Roxtalled: Her: Make me a burrito, please.
*wraps her in blanket
*pours hot sauce inside
@jameslsutter: Imagine if Frodo was all "Sauron's bad, but Gandalf's done some morally gray stuff, too, so I'll stay home."
Don't get eaten by orcs. Vote.
@BMcCarthy32: if one member of the motorcycle gang has to pee do they all stop or does he just have to catch back up?
@Cyd10e: 4 y/o: What's your job?
Me: I stay at home, take care of you, clean, cook the food...
4: That sounds boring. Do you want me to fire you?
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Prominently display feminine hygiene products in your living space to let him know your eggs are still viable.
@lisaxy424: Me: time for bed
Brain: yeah I'm tired too
M: really? wow we may actually get some slee-
B: hey do you think anyone's died in this house?