@Roxtalled: Her: Make me a burrito, please.
*wraps her in blanket
*pours hot sauce inside
@abbycohenwl: [god on LSD creating Donald Trump
What if a car alarm that constantly goes off for no reason were a person?
@lawblob: pranking neighborhood teens by pulling my car into their driveway & putting a bow on it so they think their parents bought it for them
@fro_vo: if you like christmas so much why don't you merry it
@GingerHotDish: [police interrogation room]
Officer: you've been identified as the runner who..
Me: Let me stop you right there.
@TheAlexNevil: What I Say To 7:
"This is just between us"
What 7 Hears:
"Tell Mom everything and please embellish it to make it sound 100 times worse"