@Roxtalled: Her: Make me a burrito, please.
*wraps her in blanket
*pours hot sauce inside
@KenJennings: LOL at people who "love seafood" but won't even eat a silverfish
@shariv67: I'm the most bashful person in the world, until you get me on the dance floor. Then I become the most bashful newborn giraffe in the world.
@JaneBadall: I always leave the room when my son's imaginary friend comes to play. I've seen 'The Sixth Sense' and frankly, I'm not taking any chances.
@jimmy_sharpe: Sometimes you've got to ask yourself: 'Why am I talking to myself?'
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: You should cut the grass.
Me: Yes, dear.
W: And, you really need to trim that bush.
M: *mumbles* Yeah, you too.
M: Yes, dear.