@upsidedowntrash: Onion rings...
Onion rings...
Onion rings...
Onion rings...
Onion texts: Please answer baby. Let me make this right.
@lovemydogduck: Instagram: "Look at my sushi!"
Vine: "Look at my sushi for six seconds!"
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Can you hold my rubber ducky?
Me: *takes the ducky* Why?
4: I dropped it in the toilet.
@Amusitr0n: *bullies advance*
STOP! Im a black belt in Shaq Fu!
<laughter>
*detectives arrive*
Jesus, were these heads slam-dunked? Where r the bodies?
@SashaBrenner: "Get your fax straight!" - a tweet that would have been so funny in 1987
COMMENTS