@DaHess1: Her: What's your fantasy?
Me: Movie theaters that charge kids 3 and under $500 per ticket.
@lilgapeach30: Fine, you drive. I won't tell you how. I'll just yell WE'RE GONNA DIE WE'RE GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA THROW UP AND WE'RE GONNA DIE til we arrive.
@Juicedballs: If babies named Todd don't call themselves "The Toddler" then what's the point of having a douchebag baby name like Todd?
@ItalianBratikus: White people dance like they have an invisible hula hoop around their waist.
@Blarebare: When I die I want my skeleton turned into a xylophone. Just like the good ol' days.
@simoncholland: Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on? Stop talking in secret code.