@DaHess1: Her: What's your fantasy?
Me: Movie theaters that charge kids 3 and under $500 per ticket.
@madamezooble: Maybe I'm the good kind of fat like an avocado.
@TeaAndCopy: ME: Excuse me…Where's the rowing boat equipment?
EMPLOYEE: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle.
ME: Or you'll what?
@Crunch11b: "This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall."
-Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
@Brampersandon_: My dad could kick ur dads ass!
Um have u seen my dad
Hes a big guy huh?
No really have u seen him? He left when I was 9 & never came back
@tjcirimele: Listen, I hate you...
I'm just not... IN hate with you.