@brian_bilston: Here is a poem for #NationalDrinkWineDay entitled "The Problem of Writing a Poem in the Shape of a Wine Glass".
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@carlyken: I'm trying to teach my toddler how to headbang but he's pissed because he wants a bottle. I told him to save that anger for the mosh pit.
@jwoodham: If you like someone, pretend they're a charger and you're an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
@Jazzzzzmina: Thank God I wasn't on twitter when I was in college. It would've taken me 65 years to get my degree.