@Zombieionism: Here, let me loosen those morals for you.
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@TheDairylandDon: I don't trust the so-called "mainstream media." I get news from ouija boards and an angry owl living in the woods on the outskirts of town.
@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: I'm such a nerd! I love when a guy talks sciency HIM: Oh haha [to waiter] A salad with umm *sweating* kilo-island dressing
@rickolantern: Kids have so many food allergies these days. In 15 years you'll be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts.
@GrantTanaka: *leads wife into bedroom where rose petals on comforter spell out “NO, YOU TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE”