@robfee: Here lies Aunt Brenda. Trampled to death on the day after Thanksgiving trying to save $18 on a crock pot. Rest in peace, sweet angel.
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@iwearaonesie: wife's facebook post: so proud of 8, he's trying so hard in school! mama loves you! wife's text to me: he failed gym. gym!! i need a drink
@jawbroken: November 5, 2010 I hate the muppets bcuz of the Pig girl, she was disgusting, i hate her with my life, she doesnot leave the lizard alone
@ShakespearePop: I just made your acquaintance, and this is preposterous, but here is my address, perhaps thou shall mail me maybe.
@shatterpants: When I go to Subway I always bring a pair of pants that are 10 times to big for me and high five all the workers.