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@English_Muffin: Here, take my advice. It's not like I'm using it...
@waveymaree: I love twitter
@PieChord: "A wine please"
"Sir, this is McDonalds..."
"Okay, a McWine please"
@iTomFoolery: We’ve had the selfie and now the selfie stick. So when will our phones be renamed Selfones.
@Elizasoul80: [alien taking notes]
Humans: Reluctant to common sense gun control, yet somehow completely overreactive when approached by a bee.
@TheTweetOfGod: For Jesus this was anything but a Good Friday.