@hollywood_95_69: Here, take my hand. Now slap yourself with it.
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@iscoff: The reason Latin is a dead language is because they kept accidentally summoning demons during regular conversations
@EJGomez: son: why is my name jesus dad: mom wanted to name u after a rolemodel other son: &me? dad: well Charizard the same reason but it was my turn
@iLikeCatShirts: It's that scene from footloose where Kevin Bacon is angry dancing in the barn but it's me trying to do my taxes.
@mrjohndarby: Parole officer: Come in and take a seat [me, finishing a jail term for stealing chairs] *starts sweating*