@_xLNc: "Here, throw this away for me." ~ People who hand out leaflets.
@pixelatedboat: "Predators are essential for a healthy ecosystem," I explained as I released a bobcat into the airduct
@HeyZeus666: I’d never snoop through my girlfriend’s phone out of love, a deep respect and the inability to crack her password.
@CoreyKeyz: You got 30 minutes to text me back or I'm breaking into your house & responding to myself.
@MilkshakeAnyone: Twitter is the world's largest voluntary police lineup.
@Reverend_Scott: Jesus: My God, why have you forsaken me?
God: Lighten up drama queen.