@_xLNc: "Here, throw this away for me." ~ People who hand out leaflets.
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@TheAlexNevil: By "ancient ruins of a once great civilization"-standards, I keep a fairly clean house.
@TheTweetOfGod: You are free to criticize athletes. They are free to criticize you too of course, but they don't, because your job is dull and no one cares.
@karanbirtinna: (Hot girl walks in) Brain: Alright don’t panic. Tell her she has beautiful hair. No wait tell her she has beautiful legs! Me: Hi you have beautiful hairy legs. Brain: My bad.