@sammyrhodes: Here’s a crazy idea. What if Budweiser took all that advertising money and actually made better beer?
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@TEXASVETERAN: A hooker once showed me her dollar menu. Her meat actually did resemble McDonald's.
@Nahdude83: [10 mins into couples therapy] Therapist: I cannot help you two. Me: Let's go, Betsy! See! She doesn't listen! T: GET YOUR DOG OFF MY COUCH!
@MatCro: IAN: Just how do fleas jump so high? ME: Your guess is as good as mine I: I reckon they wear tiny tiny Air Jordans M: Ok I take that back