@brian_bilston: Here’s a poem in the shape of a Christmas tree. It’s called ‘Needles’.
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@shutupmikeginn: Spice things up in a first date by wearing a parachute and refusing to talk about it
@GinAndJif: "Dave's coming for dinner tonight." "Dave from work or Dave who misquotes Disney...?" [from outside] "...hakuna banana."
@caithuls: HIM: I like your shirt! ME: [wondering why he excluded every other thing I'm wearing and also me] thanks