@Tommytoughstuff: Here's another great thing about hot tubs [pulls out a bowl of fully cooked ramen from under the water]
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@Rebecca8672: UPS guy just acted like he'd never seen anyone answer the door in a super hero cape & a straw farmer hat.
@TheCiscoKidder: 5 year old: Where does wind come from, daddy? Me: It comes from people asking too many questions.
@joeldanger: Sending an insult with a typo is like laughing at someone for tripping and falling and then tripping and falling right front of them.