@nedroid: here's my dating advice. Take your date to go-karts. everyone loves go-karts. I just solved your life. you're welcome
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@LlamaInaTux: (A world where everyone is named Bethany) Bethany: what should we name our child? Bethany: Bethany
@murderbytweets: In Hell, someone is constantly vacuuming while you're trying to explain directions to an old man.
@OBiiieeee: a girl took a grilled cheese out of her purse and threw it across the street like a frisbee to me i never thought i'd be able to love again