@wolfpupy: heres my To Do List - become the new kfc colonel, mess with texas, invent a new animal just to piss off scientists
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@Ignorant_Indian: People out there are trying to contact the dead and you're telling me you can't text back?
@mattZillaaaa: *drops pizza slice on the floor Hey can I get another slice? *eats slice that fell on the floor then eats new slice
@TheThomason: Before handing your wallet and wife's necklace over to that angry gunman, pause to consider how sweet it would be if your son became Batman.
@Mr_Kapowski: "Welcome to Armageddon Welcome to Legageddon Welcome to Quadageddon" Me: *raises hand* Are you the only trainer available at the gym today?