@wolfpupy: heres my To Do List - become the new kfc colonel, mess with texas, invent a new animal just to piss off scientists
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@TheTweetOfGod: I believe meat is murder, vegetables are burglary, bread is mail fraud and dairy is impersonating a police officer.
@iamk1ts: As confused as an atheist who's stuck behind a car that isn't moving at a green light & has a bumper sticker that says 'Honk if you love God
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife told me not to say anything about her friend's lazy eye so I made sure to give numerous compliments on her super-athletic one.