@lisaxy424: "Hermit crab" describes me twice.
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@Brentweets: Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
@BradNewsBears: Cashier: Hello Me: Is it me your looking for... I can see it in your eyes.. Cashier:... Me: Sorry, this is my first rap battle.
@Leslie_Annie: 8 yr old: mommy, why are you laying on the floor? Me: I just did 438 sit ups. 8: sounds legit. I've taught her well.
@jordan_stratton: WINSTON CHURCHILL: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." ONE-LEGGED MAN WHO BARELY SURVIVED A SHARK ATTACK: "Yeah... and sharks"