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@Cravin4: "He's 24 months old."
Your child is 2
@mellimelle: Find a penny, pick it up. All day long you'll wtf, that thing is filthy. Wash your hands immediately.
@TheHyyyype: Technology is moving so fast. My toaster just sprinted across the kitchen.
@donni: Any TV can be a TV dinner if you eat TVs
@Thynebear: I am the all knowing oracle, you may ask me one question
"How do you pronounce quinoa?"
[it's just covered in sweat] um can u ask me another
@mattZillaaaa: I love it when I see an old friend I haven't seen in years and pretend to not see them