@wickedimproper: He's 52, from now on let's just call him John Depp.
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@farleftcoast: Sometimes I get really stoned and stare at phone and wonder why I pay so much money for a government tracking device.
@TheTimmyToes: (business meeting) *drops pen on the floor* *bends over to pick it up* *shirt comes untucked* *all the jelly beans start falling out*
@batkaren: What if life on Earth is just a video game for gods, and my guy has the crappy controller?