@brichie13: He's an owl with an attitude. She's a hawk who will take him to church. This fall, Sundays become Fundays on ABC's new hit 'Birds of Pray'!
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@WritePlay: PRIEST: The couple has chosen to write their own vowels HER: Shouldn't it be - HIM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
@DanMentos: “Ever wonder why Rice Krispies costs the same as quieter cereals?” why would- “It’s because they're sold by weight-“ Dan, NO “not by volume"
@SchuylerPryor: Eventually the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphs.
@AnOrangeSNES: *Mom Godzilla calls Godzilla during the morning* Mom Godzilla: Are you eating your cities? Belfast is the most important meal of the day.