@LostCatDog: He's dead, Jim. Bought the farm. Bit the pita. Shanked the llama. He's a shit piñata. He's gone elf. Dropped the fudgsicle. No more potatoes
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@EndhooS: Come on guys, lemme back in the gang! I'm real good at crimes! "No" Why? "YOU GOT ARRESTED BY A POLICE HORSE CARL HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE"
@DiscoFruit: [3rd grade] bae: come over me: no bae: my parents aren't home. me: but we're only 7, that's awful parenting. bae: but- me: AWFUL. PARENTING.
@TheToddWilliams: [team tryouts] Coach: You really knocked that one out of the park. Jimmy: Thanks Coach! Coach: This is tennis.