@OVLH: "He's more scared of you than you are of him" - Girl coaching her friend into talking to me
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@mattytalks: Funny that Lebron couldn't even finish a game due to cramps when RoboCop saved all of Detroit without even having his own legs
@iwearaonesie: cost of the ice cream my kid threw a tantrum in the grocery store to get: $5 the look on his face when I ate it for dinner: priceless
@sarcasticmommy4: Kids: Yay! Summer break! Me: Not so fast. Let me introduce you to...THE GREAT SUMMER CHORE CHART OF 2017! *3 kids faint, 1 runs away*
@badbanana: Last-second gift idea. Bring a tag and put it on any present already under the tree. Call other person a liar. Be willing to fight him/her.