@OVLH: "He's more scared of you than you are of him" - Girl coaching her friend into talking to me
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@Owl_Meat: *puts bread in toaster* hmm something strange about the toaster today Duck(from in toaster): no there isnt
@FilthyRichmond: The cashier at McDonald's was more than happy to warm up some Diet Coke for my baby's bottle.
@Taller_stories: Clubbing in my 20s: Spills beer *everywhere* Clubbing in my 40s: Everywhere is so sticky!?
@lilgapeach32: Stop, collaborate and listen. Manda's back with news from the kitchen. Calories grab a hold of me tightly I want nachos daily and nightly...