@over_rated: "HEY ATHLETES WITHOUT MONEY FOR TRAINING FACILITIES OR PROPER UNIFORMS, Y U NO WIN GOLD MEDALS?" - Indians
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@SteveSuckington: [my dad and my 3 yr old daughter] Him: Hey sweetie how've you been? Her: I have a boyfriend Me: lmao *my daughter and I high five*
@TheToddWilliams: WAITER: Would you like some more bread? SWORD SWALLOWER: No, but could you get me another butter knife please.
@Adar79Angie: I wish my car ran on shattered dreams instead of gas. I'd be able to make it to Canada on my failed ninja goals alone.