@zacharyflynn: Hey babe i wanted to marry you but i had to ask your dad first and he said yes so i guess i'm marrying your dad
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@buhsbaby_baby: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because you saw me eating that cupcake with no hands and you want my autograph?
@noog: Me: Goodnight Moon Moon: Well hi there. I can’t hear you because I’m 240,000 miles away and sound doesn’t travel in space. Die in a fire.