@RiIeyJokess: "Hey babe, you smell that?" "No." "Me neither, start cooking.
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@murrman5: "fine! leave me because I talk like I'm in a novel but you aren't taking the kids, he exclaimed"
@panmidwest: I respect the guy who drives his Blue BMW through the White Castle drive thru. It's like he's saying: "I'm better than you—but not by much."
@Bob_Janke: Mom there's a boogie man in my closet! *mom looks and I'm standing there with an afro in a satin shirt and platform shoes
@jonnysun: [escorted out of google hq with armful of snakes at 9:02am on my 1st day] WELL MAYBE U SHOULDA CLARIFIED WAT U MEANT BY "PYTHON PROGRAMMER"