@turboescortdude: Hey babies, I can do 12 push-ups. Impressed? Doap. Typo, meant babes. Impressed? No? Oh. Well then. Impressed babies?
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@mexinonblonde: Fun Fact: You can edit and crop a selfie so that we aren't able to see the cataclysmic disaster of dirty clothes in the background!
@GringoBrulee: My first kid will be named Gotham. That way when I have to get up in the middle of the night when they're crying I can say "Gotham needs me"
@howe007: If Russia prepares for war the way it prepares for the Olympics then we have nothing to worry about.
@FinallyHeSleeps: Somehow my beach-bod went to a dad-bod and unfortunately now it's more of a beached-dad-bod.