@turboescortdude: Hey babies, I can do 12 push-ups. Impressed? Doap. Typo, meant babes. Impressed? No? Oh. Well then. Impressed babies?
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@WritePlay: MAN: I'll get pasta & she'll have the salad COW: What's that mean? MAN: Uh- COW: I'm fat? MAN: ... You're a cow? PIG AT NEXT TABLE: Ooo
@Brampersandon_: *Trains lightning bugs to spell* Karen, they have a message for u WILL YOU M- "Omg Yes!" OVE OUT? Oh good. Here I packed your bags already.
@LinajkReturns: So much mascara her eyes got stuck in the closed position. Too bad lipstick doesn't work that way.
@lafpgh: Sure, I'd love to Skype with you. Just hold on a sec while I brush my hair and undergo various cosmetic surgery procedures.