@LOsepyan: Hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven?-How to pick up Satan
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@UNTRESOR: Why bother drinking water? You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: One thing I've learned about this world is that there are always going to be people who want to change you. -babies
@girlontapas: How is it that my kids can never find their own shoes but... Easily find the one ice cream sandwich I hid behind the peas in the freezer.
@Social_Mime: Gandhi would go on fasts for weeks and remain peaceful. I go 3 hours without eating and I'm yelling at dust.