@Tommytoughstuff: "Hey baby ditch the zero *stares silently until lenses transition into sunglasses* and get with the hero."
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@MavenofHonor: This milk is so far past its expiration date that I'm only going to have a small slice.
@fro_vo: God: where's your horn Unicorn: i sold it for drugs God: throw this fucken horse in jail --the invention of zebras
@iwearaonesie: wife: Why didn't you talk to me about getting a goat? me [stops feeding the goat] You would have said no
@SamuelHLowe: She invited me over for a romantic dinner and told me I was the dessert. I wanted ice cream.