@pattonoswalt: Hey Ben Carson, at this point in your craziness? Just say you're Iron Man. What could it hurt?
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@CatherineLMK: "I'm $50 away from getting free shipping which is only $5 and what I want is $12 so I need to spend $38 more to save money." -my brain
@LostFelicia: If your kids are big enough to get on a ride without help, I will fight them for the last carousel horse.
@FrancysNjoroge: Please do not throw cigarette butts into the urinals, as it makes them soggy and very hard to light -Bathroom graffiti
@Reverend_Scott: Earth: "You're causing tidal waves!" Moon: "So?" Earth: "I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation!" Moon: "Very funny."