@GeminiJew: Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don't even call back people I know.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iwearaonesie: *comes back with wife's purse* w: I said don't run or people will think you stole it! How many times did you get tackled? m:[bleeding] Twice
@bazecraze: I'm gonna create chaos in my neighborhood by putting giant bows on all the cars the night before Christmas.
@Vodkantots: In some cultures, it's considered polite to scream when someone shows you their baby. I'd be considered proper there. Probably.