@illiter8too: Hey boy, are you a fitted sheet? Because you're complicated as hell and hard to manage, but I definitely want you on this mattress.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LizHackett: Ariana Grande would be the first kid on the factory tour taken away by the Oompa Loompas.
@GrandadJFreeman: Most girls: "I hangout with guys, there's less drama." Me: "I hangout by myself. There's no drama & I don't have to wear pants."
@Jake_Vig: The correct amount of coffee is the amount where, if you perished, your heart would continue to beat for a good 2-3 days.