@MrSpoonicorn: hey boy ;) is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see m- oh, it is a gu- yes i will open the cash register
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@LuvPug: People on Facebook really lose their shit when you comment on their hospital check ins with 'Glad you're not too sick to post your status'
@botandy: google logo keeps changing its appearance because it killed a man in Tampa in 1999 and has to stay ahead of the law
@SamDeLanche: We only speak to our two year old with a British accent. She's going to be the coolest kindergartner in Kansas.
@Izianikapani: It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.