@McNevich: Hey can I call you back in like 6 weeks?
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@liv_thatsme: Just locked eyes with a spider, but instead of killing him, I ran away & hid so he can spend the whole night stressing about where I am.
@SondraDeeMe: FB post from HS friend on pic: My boyfriend is such a dreamboat! My comment: So was the Titanic.
@BrownDogBlanket: I watched Neil deGrasse Tyson talk about Milky Ways for an hour and I still have no idea what nougat is.
@MattMcGruff: Officer- I'm giving you a ticket for your speed Me- That's heroin Officer-... Me- Want some? Officer-... Me- Oooh, shiny handcuffs