@McNevich: Hey can I call you back in like 6 weeks?
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@DaddyJew: You can literally take anything from anyone as long as you shout "police emergency" and run away
@EndhooS: *Bursts into bank* Robber: THIS IS A ROBBERY. HANDS UP. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Bank clerk: No that's clearly a shotgun 2nd robber: OOOH SNAP!
@Carbosly: Apparently saying "If you think your wife is fat now, wait till she has the baby" is not a good way to congratulate someone.