@JennyJohnsonHi5: Hey chicks who wear a buttload of make-up. Don't borrow someone else's iPhone to make a call. You leave half of your face on the screen.
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@MelvinofYork: Well hello, "Party-Size" bag of Doritos. Welcome to my party! There will be no other guests.
@Tmoney68: My GF called me "behind the times" today. I got so upset, I paused the VCR, paged my friends & asked them to fax me their best advice.
@timdonakowski: "We like the idea, we do. We're just afraid it's going to keep the viewer awake." - Sundance Channel execs
@ieatanddrink: It's so cold out today in Wisconsin I just saw a snowman kill another snowman and crawl inside his body cavity