@thatcarlygirl: Hey, cooking directions on the sides of packages: Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave.
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@milehighocd: Me: You ask so many questions that I want to stab a fork in my eye. Her: Why? Me: *stabs fork into eye*
@RandiLawson: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but they stay for the intelligent discourse about Benghazi
@Black__Elvis: I used to think my neighbors were racist but that thoughtful burning cross they put in my yard proved to be a great source of natural light.