@imadepoopstoday: "Hey Daddy!!! Watch what I can do!!" - aaaaaaaaand hospital.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brentweets: I almost choken on food and the whole time it was happening I was just thinking "What a cliche way for a fat person to die of"
@ibid78: [internet] if u liked this story on cows dressed as plumbers.. [me] I did [i] here's a story on panda cops [barely containing my glee] go on
@DaddyJew: Gf: come over Me: can't, playing the new call of duty Gf: my parents are out of town Me: you're 30 years old, grow up
@XplodingUnicorn: My daughters took turns tracing each other over and over with chalk. Now it looks like 25 children were murdered in my driveway.