@imadepoopstoday: "Hey Daddy!!! Watch what I can do!!" - aaaaaaaaand hospital.
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@briancthayer: *gazing at the ocean* God: I told you NOT to leave the water on while we were on vacation. Angel: I'm sorr- God: SORRY DOESN'T FIX THIS MESS
@connor_hannigan: i’ve never had a new years kiss, a mistletoe kiss, or a valentines day kiss, but i did have a hershey’s kiss and it was wonderful
@Marcmywords2: Pick a number, now add 7, divide by 4, write it down. Now get an apple, name it, show it a picture of your cat. Now go to bed,you're drunk.