@imadepoopstoday: "Hey Daddy!!! Watch what I can do!!" - aaaaaaaaand hospital.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dafloydsta: BOSS: We need to improve morale ME: Okay BOSS: How about an office party? ME: [crosses out "replace coworkers with puppies"] I guess
@INDlAN_: Adulthood is like looking both sides before crossing the street and them getting hit by an airplane.
@Demented_Jokes: My son cried when I gave him his breakfast this morning. I made him scrambled eggs, covered them in ketchup & told him it was Humpty Dumpty.
@TinaMav: I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mother's room. I can't believe it... she's a superhero!