@briangaar: Hey, did you ever get that job you talked about for weeks then abruptly stopped mentioning?
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@tastefactory: *firefighter wraps me in blanket after he rescues me* Um I just came out of a fire so I'm pretty hot actually
@man_in_radiator: I hate it when people try to use big words when they clearly don't know their meaning. It makes them sound so gelatinous and isosceles.
@Marlebean: I'm "don't flash your headlights at someone who doesn't have theirs on bc they will come and kill you" years old.
@1CleverGirl1: Me: I'm super funny. I mean, how could 13K people be wrong? Husband: There were WAY more people in the Nazi party. Me:.................