@E_lok44: Hey. Do these camo pants make me look fatigued?
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@icrushedmyhalo: Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It's not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
@SilverKick: It's always good to know what's happening in astrology. When nothing seems to be going right, you can blame the stars.
@HeyZeus666: Fatherhood Tip : If there's puke in your coat pocket and poop on your shoulder, you're holding the baby upside down.
@Piecezilla: My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.